I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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