So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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