Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
What a dumb baby whore.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
