I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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