why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I intend to get homeless drunk
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
