God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
