Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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