She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
