i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
