I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
