please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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