These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
