If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
