I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sext me about skeletons
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
