I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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