guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
