I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
