but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
