brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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