that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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