This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
