I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
