I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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