I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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