don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
