She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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