I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
