He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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