Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize