She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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