you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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