I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
