ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
