He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
