Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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