Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
