remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
