I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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