I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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