I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
