I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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