So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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