It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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