I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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