did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
