wrigley field is MILF paradise
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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