I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
