If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
