alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
