Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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