Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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