Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
