I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
