You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
