Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
