Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
