she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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