I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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