She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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