Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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