I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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